Money

It is important.  Yet, people are reluctant to talk about it.  Why is that? 

Operating at a loss

As we racked up medical bills and operated in the red, I told my late husband not to worry about it.  I told him that I would figure it out if and when I needed to.  I said it with confidence and I meant it.  I was completely unaware of the depth of our financial crisis nor the impending financial blows.

Denial of Life Insurance Benefits

At the time of my husband's death, we had been operating in the negative for a full year after he was forced to stop working.  The bulk of Antonio’s life insurance was denied.  The insurance company slid right through a legal loophole.  It was unconscionable.  Unbelievable.  

Denial of Short Term Disability

After a steep decline in AJ’s health, I took off to be at his side and I was there until he passed.  I continued my leave after his death.  I only had a few weeks off.  It was not enough time, but I had no paid leave available.  I applied for short term disability to cover the time off after his death and it was denied.  I was told that I did not demonstrate enough need and I did not meet their definition of disabled.  I incurred more debt.

Totaled SUV

If that wasn’t enough, I had an accident on my way to work on a snowy day with my two little girls in the back seat.  Thankfully, we walked away from the accident.  Unfortunately, the SUV was totaled out at a loss.  More debt.  I had to purchase another.  More debt

Plan?

When it came down to it, I had no plan.  I was in a financial and emotional tailspin.  I didn’t pay my bills because I didn’t really know where to start.  I had more bills than money.  I was overwhelmed.  Time lapsed.  Ignoring bills did not make them go away.  They pile up late charges.  More debt.

An easy out would have been to outsource my problem.  Didn’t I deserve something easy?  Some will say I was stubborn or blame it on pride.  The way I saw it- I wanted to learn.  I had to learn.   I had the volition and this was my life.  So much was out of my control.  I wanted, perhaps needed, to have a say in something. 

Lifetime Learning

I read and read.  It took time but I learned so much about money, myself, and my risk tolerance.  I had to be comfortable with my decisions.  It was so fascinating.  Working my way through my own financial disaster, I found nuggets and tidbits that were game changers.  This was the impetus to start writing a letter to my girls, sharing this information.  

Positive Cash Flow

After extensive time and effort, the severe mismatch on my household budget was finally corrected to a positive.  The only thing that I had not changed was my mortgage. I had decided that my interest rate was good enough- without inquiring if I could get a better one.  I decided that the cost of refinancing was not worth it- without knowing the amount it cost to refinance.  I decided that I would just continue to pay the mortgage.  I was coming to conclusions without knowing the real options.  It was inaction at its best.  After so much progress, why was I was trying to think myself out of doing more?    

Considering the Possibilities

I have been managing an inordinate amount of stuff.  I decided that I wanted a drastic change.  I had to consider all options.  When working with budgets and ideas, I needed actual numbers to make an informed decision.  It was easy to come to the conclusion that refinancing had to be considered.  I had a few great options, I just had to figure out what was best for me.  Historically low rates were on the rise and the threat of missing the opportunity to lower my interest forced me to make some quick decisions.   I had set my expectations and I was waiting on the deliverable when I last wrote about it.

Success

I am pleased to say that I closed on my refinance and it was a success.  What a ginormous relief!  It completed the picture of my improved financial health.  I am full of gratitude because I was given the capacity, fortitude, and persistence to push through.  I am excited to see what the future holds.