Every day there is a decision

Two weeks ago I shared a rawness that I have not visited since the earliest posts of my blog.  It was helpful to hear that sharing it was important and I am thankful for the dialogue off and on- line.  Nonetheless, I needed time.  One thing is clear- today and every day there is a decision to make.  I believe in making the most of it.  Fear is natural, however, inaction is not an option.

I operate on the premise that everything I am today- I owe to the collection of defining moments that I have had in my life.  They have each shaped me in varying ways to be the person that I am today.  I will own it all, including my imperfections, and embrace the life that I have been given to live. 

Born Into Competition

I entered the world with an older sister and brother.  I thought the world of them.  I think I saw the six year gap between us as a challenge from day one.  I wanted to be all in their space all the time.  They weren't too keen on this but I was persistent.  Pretty soon there were three more children and let’s say life got pretty interesting.  I thank my parents for giving me life.  There are many choices in life and they chose to have children.  With gusto.  They were cool before cool was cool.  I can’t imagine coming from a small family.  There is always so much going on.  So much to learn from.  Never a dull moment.   This still holds true.

Diversified Interests

Entering High School, I had a number of things outside of the classroom vying for my attention.  Luckily, academics came pretty easy to me and I was in AP Math and English.  I started playing the flute in the 6th grade.  Thanks to my parents, discontinuing my flute lessons was with the condition of picking up a third language.  To their surprise, I happily picked up French, in addition to the Spanish I was already taking.  I loved art class and my art teachers.  I made time for an art class each quarter. 

I took jazz and tap lessons and thoroughly enjoyed them but I am an adrenaline junkie with an incurable competitive bug.  Soccer is the first organized team sport that I played and I loved it.  I was a member of the swim, track and field, and basketball teams, but, ultimately, volleyball stole my heart.  

Never Give up

I attended Colgate University as a Division 1 student- athlete (volleyball) with a concentration in Neuroscience but made time to take art classes and founded a dance team.  I wanted it all and I was determined.

In college, I drew a replica of the famed frog choking a bird, arguably a duck or heron.  The frog’s body is in great part within the birds bills with the legs and arms still visible.  The frog’s arms are also visible and the hands are strategically wrapped around the bird's neck both preventing the frog from further passage and choking the bird.  Yes!  I was so impressed with this frog.  That frog had guts.  It inspired me.   I had it hanging on my wall throughout college.  Today it is in a memory book.  I want to give credit to the original artist but had no success finding the original artist to give credit.

 As a division 1 student-athlete with a concentration in Neuroscience, I learned many things about myself.  My growth was fueled by excellent mentors, most notably my academic advisor and coaches.  I told them what I wanted and they supported, guided and pushed me to greater accomplishments.   In the midst of academic rigor, on the court we won two back to back league championships and were the first women's team at Colgate to participate in the NCAA tournament.  My coaches, academic advisor, and teammates remain active and special in my life.  I am grateful for their love and support.

After completing undergrad, I took a few years off of school prepare for graduate school, work, and travel.  I attended Duke University for my Masters and Physician Assistant Training.  I met my late husband in North Carolina.  Together we have two amazing girls.  The vast majority of my career has been spent in Emergency Medicine.  Currently, I am a clinician at Johns Hopkins Emergency Department.   It appeals to the part of me that likes adrenaline.  I like the urgent decision making.  I like the variety and the challenge.  You never know what is next.  I am privileged to be trusted to help others in a personal crisis.  I work in this scenario day in and day out and never thought I would have a life emergency of my own.  

What now?

I believe everything I have been through has prepared me for this moment right here.  I am busy.  Life is busy.  I am the mother of two little girls while balancing a career and life interests.  I am learning to focus my energy on things that are most important .  I am critically evaluating my priorities and freeing time  and brain space to figure it all out.  I want to savor life and cultivate relationships.  I love the beach, traveling, and eating great food in great company.  I love to listen to music and dance.  I like post work out more than the work out itself.  I love photography, butterflies, and gardens.  In a culture where we are ever consuming and over-committed, I am asking pivotal questions to challenge the way we live our day to day.  We must take the time to be purposeful.  Would you agree?