Tory Palecek

Tory Palecek is my best friend from college. I met Tory the first day of volleyball preseason freshman year at Colgate University. We were both incoming freshmen. She immediately made an impression on me.

She was a setter and I was a hitter. We became fast friends and spent a lot of time together.

My hometown was two hours from campus. Her hometown was 3000 miles away in San Diego. Another teammate. Jill and I drove across the country to see her. I remember her yelling, I hear Toya as we approached her house with our windows down enjoying the ideal climate of San Diego. Plus, our AC was kinda shot, but that’s another story. Toya was the name of my car at Colgate.

Junior year we were suite mates and senior year we shared a downtown Hamilton penthouse apartment. We had quite the senior year!

Together we swept our conference and were back to back Patriot League champions. We made Colgate history by being the first women’s team to make it to the NCAA tournament!

That winter, Tory and I had a pretty big winter dance party in our apartment. The “DJ kept playing my song” and the dance floor aka our whole apartment was packed. If maximum capacity existed, we exceeded it. Combine that with the dense muscles of athletes. I remember a distinct uneasiness of how much the floor flexed.

Fast-forward a month or two, we were living temporarily in a hotel. Turns out the floor wasn’t an issue, but the ceiling was. It literally fell in. I remember walking into the apartment and it looking like it was raining indoors. We called our friends from the football team to come help rescue us. There was little time to evacuate, and once the ceiling fell in, our access to our belongings was drastically limited. This impacted Tory more, because a big portion of the ceiling that fell and was in her bedroom. Apparently, there was debris/leaves in gutter and the roof took on water, and you know the rest. It being second semester senior year, this was not ideal, but we got through it together.

julia Civardi, Autumn Mckenzie, Tory palacek Colgate university 20 year reunion

We stayed in touch through starting careers, grad school, and back to school for our five-year reunions and such. We missed 10-year reunion in the wedding season. I was in her wedding to Jon, and she was in mine to Antonio. By 15 year reunion we both had little ones and were knee deep in life and missed reunion. Shortly thereafter, Antonio got sick and passed away.

We had well-established roots and our friendship was deep, still how Tory and Jon showed up for me and my girls was extraordinary. My girls call them Auntie Tory and Uncle Jon(ie).

I see their love, time, patience, kindness, and generosity as investments in our lives and those investments will continue to appreciate. They invested in my family’s metaphorical IPO. It is a real multigenerational investment that has global impact. While most of the dividends have been reinvested and continue to compound, there are payable dividends in smiles, hugs, kisses, tears of joy, laughter and prayers. I hope when they see Alivia and Audrey’s smiles and hear of their accomplishments they feel and see the heft of their investments.

They loved on us at a time when I felt so broken and had nothing to give. After the death of Antonio, I packed up and headed out to Cali with strollers, car seats and big luggage. We were dropped off at the airport by our neighbor Mr. Registre and I would curbside check a massive amount of stuff and head into the airport with a game bag, a double stroller, a couple of car seats and two little kids in tow. The first time I landed in San Diego with two girls and a pile of stuff to get to the rental car after a 5 hour flight, I cried. This did not deter us from flying out to see them at least twice a year for many years.

Tory and Jon have three children. The Oldest is Penelope, then Henry, and Mac. They all played together famously with Alivia and Audrey. I was able to show up at the Palecek’s home and rest while the children had the best time together. I have never needed rest like that before. I felt completely safe and loved. I was able to sit, rest, heal, and listen to the laughter as our children played together from backyard to pool to park to playground to ocean to the San Diego Zoo.

This also satisfied my love for the ocean. Torres Pines beach remains one of our favorite beaches in the world. There are many a memory of the children playing in the surf, building sandcastles and creating holes. There where many a times we had to drag our children away from the water to go home.

There was one unforgettable time when we went to the ocean on a San Diego winter day for a stroll and to play in the sand. There were no swim suits involved and I am pretty sure we asked them to stay out of the water but we had 5 wet giggly children in short order. They were unphased by the water temps. The only thing that is surprising is that we were surprised.

Our visits came to a sudden stop in 2020 when the pandemic hit. When I lost my mom and added Shiloh and Joshua to our household, we sheltered in place with the rest of the nation.

Tory Palecek and Autumn Mckenzie

We were finally able to make it back to Cali last summer. While our visit was brief, my love for their family remains deep. Their little children have grown into a beautiful young lady and two handsome gentlemen.

We were able to introduce Shiloh and Joshua, celebrate Jon’s birthday, and see Tory and Jon’s moms and sisters and several friends of the family. Jon’s party had a band and the dance floor was perfectly situated to see the sunset over the Pacific Ocean. Tory knows how to throw a party!

The next day we said bye for now to the Palecek’s, took a quick dip in Torrey Pines Beach, and another bye for now to the Pacific Ocean. On the way to the airport, we celebrated Shiloh’s birthday at Corvette’s where Tory’s father took us all out to eat one of our first times in San Diego.

I left San Diego with tears of joy and gratitude streaming down my face. So much happiness. So many memories. Seeing her children at teens and preteens, wow! Long overdue! I have tears streaming down my face while writing this post. We can’t go this long without seeing each other again. Much love to the Paleceks. God bless you!

Tory, Henry, Penelope, MAc, and Jon Palecek