Bobbie Hoye
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Bobbie and I go back to freshman year of high school. My freshman year at high school was also Nicolle’s, my older sister, freshman year at University of Pittsburgh. She met a classmate named Lisa and they were instant best friends. When they discovered they each had sisters around the same age, they swiftly made arrangements for us to visit at the same time. I heard the request and I must say I thought it was absurd, but I played along.
Much to my surprise, we got along famously. Bobbie lived in Erie, PA and I in Vestal, NY and we remained friends over distance and time and became chosen family.
I have been in and out of the DC Metro Area for years following undergrad in NY. Same for her following law school in Pittsburgh. It was one of our many running jokes. One would come back just in time for the other to take off. However, for the past 16 years we managed to stay still and be in the same place at the same time sharing life. What a rich and beautiful journey through careers and motherhood it has been! My children knew her as Tia, her husband as uncle Roger, and her sister as Auntie Lisa.
In the rocky aftermath of losing a spouse when many things changed for me, her love and support was not one of them. She and her family loved us so well when I felt so broken. They absorbed us further into their family and our bonds grew stronger. Our children grew up like cousins. A lot of fun happened in her back yard!
My favorite thing about our friendship was laughter. We went through some stuff together. I was there for her. She was there for me. When things were light, we laughed. When times were tough, we still laughed…eventually! We were always laughing about something.
When I found out her diagnosis of cancer, we didn’t really talk about it until she realized that she was not ok. Even then it wasn’t a big topic of conversation. If she didn’t bring it up, I wasn’t bringing it up. We just just enjoyed our time together.
I left her hospital bed in the evening and prepared to get up early in the morning to drive my daughter to Columbus, Ohio. I knew her end was near if not for another miracle. I left holding on to the hope that she would get the rest she deeply longed for either with the complete healing and restoration of her physical body or shedding it for the next part of the journey. She passed away before I reached my destination.
It is hard to believe she is no longer here on this earth. Really quite challenging to comprehend, so I’ve stopped. For the things I do not understand, I choose to trust God.
