Wait For It
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Jon Meadows of High End photographyy (highendheadshots.com)
It’s Been a While
What took me so long to write? To be honest, I was afraid that you would not understand me. I have become one of “those people.” In the past, I have judged people for waiting on God. I have never waited on the Lord for something within my immediate “control” until now.
Where God Begins
It feels as though God has always surrounded me, but I never paused to figure out where I end and God begins. So, I worked hard until something was out of my reach, and then I asked for God’s help i.e., Antonio’s illness. Clearly, I didn’t get my desired outcome. Still, if I was convinced of anything, I knew there was a God and I believed he had a plan.
I sat in that space for years. I even rebelled in that space, but I held onto the belief that God had a plan.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding ”
When I started writing three years ago, I felt that I was taking steps toward my purpose, specifically, into God’s purpose for my life. I was consistently reading my bible, and I was eager for a breakthrough. Fast forward to losing my mom. I began to question God’s plan and he welcomed me into a conversation. This is when I applied urgency and intention to my faith. I had missed the broader context.
“Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. ”
If the God of the universe talks to people, I wanted to be part of the conversation. I joined prayer groups and small groups within the Church. I sought out others with bold faith. I read the bible with new eyes. There is still so much for me to learn.
Beginning and the End
In this new space, I wait on the Lord for everything. Things that I am quite capable of getting accomplished, I still wait. I am learning God’s voice. In previous posts, I have started to share some of my needs and weakness. I am confident that God will show up in them. I hope to make clear where I end and God begins.
What am I Focusing On?
I have so many needs and wants. If I start thinking about my problems, I can get a bit hysterical. But in this moment, I am completely satisfied, and everything is covered. In this moment, I have God’s peace that passes understanding.
Rejoice
Instead of worrying if God will work it out, I am learning to rejoice in anticipation of the grandeur of how he does so. Over the coming weeks, I look forward to sharing praise reports about how some of these things work out.
Being mothered is a universal experience. It is a life long process.
I am grateful for all those who have touched my life and continue to invest in me in this way. God is intentional.. It is out of the abundance of His love through others that compels me.